• caitlynoconnor

So... this is a little all over the place so skip what you please, I would. I hope wherever you are living and if places are opening or not that you are finding some enjoyment and things to keep you busy. I'm not exactly the person that has been excited to take this time to clean, organize, and like plant a garden but I did buy a plant.. that will probably die in a week. I am also not the girl who wakes up at 5am does yoga, makes a smoothie and puts on a full face of makeup, ready to take on the day. It is definitely hard to stay motivated to do those things... it's hard to get up early, make your bed, even just get dressed. I was in sweatpants and a hoodie for a month straight of quarantine and as I am typing this I am in sweats, a messy bun, no makeup but hey I just showered! I'm sure everyone knows this and I know I mentioned it before but everything you do, you can do at your own time and your own pace.

After taking a lotttt of this time being lazy I was kind of over it. I've really wanted to feel some type of normal again. I actually MISSED putting on makeup and getting in a workout. Luckily, I still have my job and have meetings every morning so at least that is holding me accountable to wake up at a decent time and get my day started. Before, I was kind of just working from whatever space I could find, still just lounging around while working on my laptop. The smallest things can make you feel better and a little more "normal" so I set up a desk space, opened up the curtains to make it nice and bright and I now force myself to sit at the desk and work for a good couple hours uninterrupted (still in my sweatpants) and then take a break. I am trying to get up earlier and workout before work but it just isn't for me. I know I COULD but I don't really see why I have to... What I am getting at here is that your routine doesn't need to be just like everyone else's or what you see or think other people are doing. But if you have been stuck in a bit of a depression state, finding it hard to get out of bed and do something else... I'm personally finding it really helpful to make a plan for my week, to always come up with one thing to look forward to the next day. I've started making it a commitment to hike/run/walk every day even when I don't want to (but ya know what I ALWAYS feel better after doing so). Obviously we are social distancing but there are some people I have been seeing so I make plans with them even if it's just a movie night or walking together the next day. Having something on my agenda for tomorrow, I find helps me stay sane.

Maybe you are a morning person and it makes you feel good to get up, run, have a cup of coffee and be on the go but I've realized I am very much a night time person. Literally when it hits like 7PM I have more motivation than I have had all day and idk why that is lol. I always thought that running first thing in the morning was my thing but that was in college when my classes were a lot later. I used to be a very big runner, more than a dozen half marathons and one full marathon in South Carolina. Adulting hit and I have an 8-5 job and I am just NOT waking up before 7 to workout and I don't want to put on makeup or normal clothes if I'm working from home. I do want to get back to being able to run a half marathon without a sweat and eventually train for another full. Quarantine definitely wasn't the reason I stopped consistently running, I think I just got too comfortable with how my life was but I want to feel healthy and have my hobby back and that is what I plan to do. Kind of journaling about my week thoughts here...

This is repetitive from my last blog BUT I do want to challenge anyone reading this to take one day this week to do those things I said I have not been doing consistently. To get up at a decent hour (even if you have nothing to do all day), do a workout of your choice, maybe learn to meditate, read, listen to a podcast during a walk, make a healthy meal, put on JEANS, and do your hair too. Putting yourself together just might make you feel good and for right now it doesn't have to be everyday but I chose a couple days this week to just do it all and I felt a little better. I've also felt my mood change doing little productive things (and I mean very little) ... I cleaned out my car and cleaned my make up bag and was like wow I've done so much today. I still am going to binge-watch shows, drink too much wine, and nap when I please but I am challenging myself and others to switch up your routine a bit. Even if you have been super productive everyday and you still are just not feeling your happiest- try something different. I was used to running every morning so I would make the excuse that I was too tired after work to do it but now I'm enjoying my mid-day runs (which I'll have to switch once I am back in an office) but do something different. I'm making it a plan to try and start meditating when I have told myself I would try a million times so I know it won't be everyday but keep making goals of things you want to try and see what you find!

Another off topic (I mean I don't think this has any topic so oh well)- I know a lot of people might be struggling with mental health, stress or losing their jobs and security and I want to challenge you again to reach out to someone that maybe you haven't spoke to in awhile even if you know they are perfectly fine, anyone - send a text, phone call, DM, and check in. I've talked to a couple people this week that I haven't spoke to in honestly a couple years and it felt nice to hear their experience and how they are doing and just what they are up to (might give ya some ideas of other things to do) honestly this might be selfish but it might also make you realize you are in a luckier place than you thought after hearing someone else's situation, if you do still have a job, your health, or maybe you are lucky enough to be surrounded by a group of people during this time and not alone. It's hard to focus on it but we really do have to appreciate the things we do have. I am so blessed to have a stable job right now and things to look forward to in my future.

Challenge number three (idk if you will take anything away from what I am writing but at least it's holding me accountable) this challenge I really find has given my mind a break and my little comparison issue a rest. I challenge you to unfollow EVERY account on any social media platform that makes you feel less than. I actually deactivated my social media for a couple days this week but kind of tough because I have to have it for work. The people or accounts you might unfollow should just be anything that makes you have a negative thought, feel or something that just bothers you for whatever reason. It could be celebrities, Instagram models, it could be meme accounts that you used to find funny but are kind of negative (that was specific.. I had a lot of those lol), it could be people that negatively effected your life or someone you simply just do not want to see anymore. This isn't meant to be mean or punish anyone but you don't need to be friends with everybody, some people are just not meant to be in your life and seeing some things on social media just might push you the wrong way without you even realizing it. TIP: if you don't want to hurt someones feelings or upset anyone you can *mute* their profile so you don't have to see anything! I had to do this to a family friend that I hope isn't reading this but simply because they bitch about everything on Facebook and I don't want to see anymore negativity. Use social media for whatever you want but if you are anything like me and want to live a more positive life, start following some quote accounts or motivational users too! Some of my favorites on Instagram:







There are millions out there so search what you want but it does make my day a little brighter when I am scrolling through not just friends and random people but words that can speak me to me as well.

I am attaching a link below of other things you can do during this time. There's even virtual wine/beer tours people!!

  • caitlynoconnor

Updated: May 16

This is a little scary and intimidating to start putting my life out there for anyone to see ( and if you don't want to, stop reading :) ) I've been wanting to start a Blog/YouTube channel and an online store for awhile now (one thing at a time...) but my goal is to help, motivate and entertain others, even if it is just one person- as well as myself along the way.

I think with everything going on in the world we are all discovering new things about ourselves. How we handle being alone, how we adjust to change, our mental health, who and what really matters. I’ve struggled with mental health issues for about 5 years now and what I learned in the past couple weeks is more than I have learned all together in those past years- the focus of yourself and your own mental health should always be a priority. For me, I think when life feels okay and I am around people I love and feeling good that I forget to continue my personal growth. I sweep things under the rug and I forget to think about the negative times even if it’s just once a week or maybe a couple times a day- I forget to think about those negative thoughts I had, the way I am reacting to things and why. I think that is something everyone should focus on daily so when unexpected “turbulence” occurs we are ready to face it head on and our world does not fall apart. Everyone is different but I know where my struggles are and I think a couple weeks alone with my thoughts (a lot of research and a lot of reading) have led me to discover that being alone doesn’t need to feel lonely. This is a daily process of course.

Starting this blog and soon to come YouTube channel, I want to be as raw as possible. Yes, I have anxiety, depression and have “overcome” an eating disorder. As hard as this strange time is, or if you're going through a loss or just missing family and friends (a lot of mine are far away!), I’ve come to realize that you are never alone if you know yourself and love yourself. I know how that sounds- you can’t just be happy because you love yourself or are okay with the person you are.. but you can. Everyday won’t be perfect and I will continue to struggle when things get hard but finding what is causing the root of the anxiety or depression or loneliness or just mild sadness one day can put you to a place where you feel at peace. I read a lot of motivation quotes, I talk to my friends as much as possible, I got a lot of advice from a lot of amazing special people. Change doesn’t happen over night but you can start at anytime, you can fail 50 times a day and then re start again. I started journaling a week ago, I write what I am grateful for (this can help when you think everything is horrible in life) and what I truly respect and love about myself. (mine are simple but helps me see my worth- get cocky it’s okay and you should be)

· I have a huge heart and I love hard

· I genuinely care about the people in my life more than words can explain

· I want to help when I see someone else struggling

· I am beautiful (even if I don’t look exactly like all the Instagram models)

· I make people LAUGH and that makes me feel good

· I like to give

· I am beyond spontaneous and I like that about myself

I have messed up in my past and I have put my struggles on other people and couldn’t figure out how to get out of my own negative head. I have lied, I have cheated, I have walked out of other people’s lives as well. Nobody is perfect but I have begun learning how to handle my negative thoughts, so I don’t put those on the people around me. I know who I am and what I value and that is all that should matter. I’ve also learned you don’t need to be faster at achieving something or better than anyone else. You don’t need to compare your life to the next person you see on social media or all your friends. I did this all the time and still will probably have slip ups in my head where I find myself comparing, but one thing you need to remember is there is no deadline to finding your happiness. You won’t wake up one day and think oh I made it, I am officially happy! You will take it day by day but knowing the strengths you have on your own is so powerful. You don’t need to own a house or have the best job or be engaged or having babies at the same time as other’s around you. Your time will come when it is meant to come. And remember, anyone who is willing to walk out of your life- let them. Do not hold anger, do not hold grudges but let go and be the best version of yourself because life doesn’t stop when something goes wrong and you can’t stop either.

With everything being closed, I think now is the perfect time for everyone to dig deep and find joy in little things- maybe it’s taking a long hike, maybe it’s just face-timing your friends, maybe it is making a dance on Tik-Tok (I swear I wouldn’t use that app, but it makes me laugh and get off the couch and dance with my friends or family) maybe it is playing with your dog or researching something you are interested in online (serial killers) IDK but if you can find one little thing each day that makes you feel good, hold onto that and don’t stop doing those things even when you feel like just laying in bed all day (you can do that too, lounging makes me happy).

I want this to be about positivity, overcoming battles, being a better version of yourself, fashion, makeup, fitness – EVERYTHING. I see so much on social media-girls posting ads for makeup, clothes, weight-loss and I watch it too, so this is nothing negative toward them but social media can really put a strain on our lives and thoughts. It is so far from reality and I hope we all know by now that no matter what people are posting and how happy they look- they have all had struggles too but none of us post those on the internet for the world to see, and why not? I'm guilty of the same thing, you don't see me posting pictures with no makeup and laying in bed all day but I think it would make all of us feel a little better if we saw imperfections and not just the 'happy' days. I want to bring it all to the table. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to motivate myself and others to break bad habits, to get outside and be active, and to focus on personal growth even if everything is perfect in life... there will be times where something isn’t perfect and you might not know how to handle it. I want to grow, be open, ready and stronger for whatever comes my way. Aaand I want to talk fashion, fitness and makeup too 😊

(I am not a writer so please don’t judge grammar- videos coming SOON)

“You can change your location, meet different people and still have some of the same old problems come up. To truly change your life you need to look inward, get to know/love yourself and heal the trauma and dense conditioning. This is how you get to the roof of the matter. Internal changes have a significant external impact.”

"3 things to remember when your mind is full of turbulence:

Do not trust the way you see yourself

Do not create assumptions about others

Wait until you feel better to make final decision that have long term effects"

© 2020 by Caitlyn O'Connor.