• caitlynoconnor

Meet Me & What I’ve Learned in Quarantine

Updated: May 16, 2020

This is a little scary and intimidating to start putting my life out there for anyone to see ( and if you don't want to, stop reading :) ) I've been wanting to start a Blog/YouTube channel and an online store for awhile now (one thing at a time...) but my goal is to help, motivate and entertain others, even if it is just one person- as well as myself along the way.

I think with everything going on in the world we are all discovering new things about ourselves. How we handle being alone, how we adjust to change, our mental health, who and what really matters. I’ve struggled with mental health issues for about 5 years now and what I learned in the past couple weeks is more than I have learned all together in those past years- the focus of yourself and your own mental health should always be a priority. For me, I think when life feels okay and I am around people I love and feeling good that I forget to continue my personal growth. I sweep things under the rug and I forget to think about the negative times even if it’s just once a week or maybe a couple times a day- I forget to think about those negative thoughts I had, the way I am reacting to things and why. I think that is something everyone should focus on daily so when unexpected “turbulence” occurs we are ready to face it head on and our world does not fall apart. Everyone is different but I know where my struggles are and I think a couple weeks alone with my thoughts (a lot of research and a lot of reading) have led me to discover that being alone doesn’t need to feel lonely. This is a daily process of course.

Starting this blog and soon to come YouTube channel, I want to be as raw as possible. Yes, I have anxiety, depression and have “overcome” an eating disorder. As hard as this strange time is, or if you're going through a loss or just missing family and friends (a lot of mine are far away!), I’ve come to realize that you are never alone if you know yourself and love yourself. I know how that sounds- you can’t just be happy because you love yourself or are okay with the person you are.. but you can. Everyday won’t be perfect and I will continue to struggle when things get hard but finding what is causing the root of the anxiety or depression or loneliness or just mild sadness one day can put you to a place where you feel at peace. I read a lot of motivation quotes, I talk to my friends as much as possible, I got a lot of advice from a lot of amazing special people. Change doesn’t happen over night but you can start at anytime, you can fail 50 times a day and then re start again. I started journaling a week ago, I write what I am grateful for (this can help when you think everything is horrible in life) and what I truly respect and love about myself. (mine are simple but helps me see my worth- get cocky it’s okay and you should be)

· I have a huge heart and I love hard

· I genuinely care about the people in my life more than words can explain

· I want to help when I see someone else struggling

· I am beautiful (even if I don’t look exactly like all the Instagram models)

· I make people LAUGH and that makes me feel good

· I like to give

· I am beyond spontaneous and I like that about myself

I have messed up in my past and I have put my struggles on other people and couldn’t figure out how to get out of my own negative head. I have lied, I have cheated, I have walked out of other people’s lives as well. Nobody is perfect but I have begun learning how to handle my negative thoughts, so I don’t put those on the people around me. I know who I am and what I value and that is all that should matter. I’ve also learned you don’t need to be faster at achieving something or better than anyone else. You don’t need to compare your life to the next person you see on social media or all your friends. I did this all the time and still will probably have slip ups in my head where I find myself comparing, but one thing you need to remember is there is no deadline to finding your happiness. You won’t wake up one day and think oh I made it, I am officially happy! You will take it day by day but knowing the strengths you have on your own is so powerful. You don’t need to own a house or have the best job or be engaged or having babies at the same time as other’s around you. Your time will come when it is meant to come. And remember, anyone who is willing to walk out of your life- let them. Do not hold anger, do not hold grudges but let go and be the best version of yourself because life doesn’t stop when something goes wrong and you can’t stop either.

With everything being closed, I think now is the perfect time for everyone to dig deep and find joy in little things- maybe it’s taking a long hike, maybe it’s just face-timing your friends, maybe it is making a dance on Tik-Tok (I swear I wouldn’t use that app, but it makes me laugh and get off the couch and dance with my friends or family) maybe it is playing with your dog or researching something you are interested in online (serial killers) IDK but if you can find one little thing each day that makes you feel good, hold onto that and don’t stop doing those things even when you feel like just laying in bed all day (you can do that too, lounging makes me happy).

I want this to be about positivity, overcoming battles, being a better version of yourself, fashion, makeup, fitness – EVERYTHING. I see so much on social media-girls posting ads for makeup, clothes, weight-loss and I watch it too, so this is nothing negative toward them but social media can really put a strain on our lives and thoughts. It is so far from reality and I hope we all know by now that no matter what people are posting and how happy they look- they have all had struggles too but none of us post those on the internet for the world to see, and why not? I'm guilty of the same thing, you don't see me posting pictures with no makeup and laying in bed all day but I think it would make all of us feel a little better if we saw imperfections and not just the 'happy' days. I want to bring it all to the table. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to motivate myself and others to break bad habits, to get outside and be active, and to focus on personal growth even if everything is perfect in life... there will be times where something isn’t perfect and you might not know how to handle it. I want to grow, be open, ready and stronger for whatever comes my way. Aaand I want to talk fashion, fitness and makeup too 😊

(I am not a writer so please don’t judge grammar- videos coming SOON)

“You can change your location, meet different people and still have some of the same old problems come up. To truly change your life you need to look inward, get to know/love yourself and heal the trauma and dense conditioning. This is how you get to the roof of the matter. Internal changes have a significant external impact.”

"3 things to remember when your mind is full of turbulence:

Do not trust the way you see yourself

Do not create assumptions about others

Wait until you feel better to make final decision that have long term effects"

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© 2020 by Caitlyn O'Connor.